Fool for Love
by electricacid6320
Summary: Another version of what happen after 5x07 - Fool for Love with Spike & Buffy.


'What do you want now' Buffy barked at him, her voice had the slightest hints of acid, but somehow Spike could tell her heart wasn't in it. The look on Buffy's face was enough to make Spike pause. He'd been so consumed with his rage and anger that he hadn't had chance to take in his surroundings. But now that he stopped, he could sense the wrongness hanging in the air. He could smell the tears, even from across the yard.

He lowered his shotgun to look at Buffy. Her cheeks were wet as more tears silently made their way to her chin. He took a step forward and lowered his gun all the way, letting it hang loosely at his side. 'What's wrong?' His voice was gentle and full of care. Buffy swallowed hard, and her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, reflecting hot tears back at him. 'I- I don't want to talk about it' Her voice caught slightly in her throat, she lowered her head and ran her finger through her hair.

Spike felt a twinge in his chest. An odd feeling, one he hadn't felt in such a long time. Not since his William days. It was, he realised after a moment, compassion. A lot had changed for him over the past year, and most of it had been the Government's fault. But recently, he'd felt his feelings towards the slayer changing. No longer did her wish to rip her head off, no, now it was quite the opposite. And seeing the pain on her face right now, made him wish he could somehow make it better.

'Is there something I can do?' He closed the distance between them and sat down beside her. She looked like her strength and will to fight had just left her. Fresh tears spilt over onto her cheeks as Spike gently patted her shoulder, his hand lingering on her back for just a second. They sat there in silence staring out at the yard.

For a while Buffy had been tense and rigid, but Spike could see that she was starting to relax. 'Hope this isn't about Captain Cardboard' Spike mumbled softly, brushing a loose strand of hair from Buffy's shoulder. She turned to face him, glaring. 'Did you just come here to insult my boyfriend Spike? Or did you remember some other Slayer killing titbit that you just had to share?' She swallowed hard.  
'Just askin' is all' He said throwing his hands up in surrender. But her face had already lost some of its anger. She rubbed at her eyes and looked back down and her twiddling fingers.

'This isn't about Riley, it's...' She paused and Spike could see her struggle with something. Spike knew that pushing it wasn't going to help, so he just sat staring down at her for a few long moments. Buffy hitched in a small ragged breath. 'It's my mom' she whispered so softly that Spike, even with his vampire hearing, almost missed it. 'She's sick. They're making her stay overnight at the hospital.' More tears danced their way down her face.

Spike knew Joyce. Spike liked Joyce. He could tell from Buffy's reaction that she wasn't just sick. She was really sick. Spike thought back to his own mother, of her illness and how lost he had felt knowing that he couldn't save her. Suddenly he understood. He patted her back again and left his hand there this time to gently squeeze her shoulder. 'Mom's a fighter, she'll do fine'

Buffy looked up at him again and tried for a weak smile, 'And what if she's not?' Her eyes flooded with tears again. 'What if she' She paused dragging in another raggedy breath. 'What if she leaves' she whispered, her tears were coming fast now. Spike's heart broke for her. He knew this feeling all too well.

Gently he wiped a tear from her cheek. Her skin felt warm under his thumb, and she made no attempted to pull away. 'What will I do then?' Her voice was shaky and she looked so utterly lost. 'How will I cope with the house, wi- with Dawn. God I can barely look after my goldfish! How am I supposed to care of a human?' She was sobbing hard now. 'It's just all so much' Buffy's voice trembled. 'If the doctors think she needs a CAT scan then it must be big right? You don't just pull out the big machines for nothing. And what if they find something? What then? What would Dawnie do? I just... I just can't lose her' Buffy was crying hard now. Without really thinking about her, Spike put his arms around her and for a moment she stiffened and he was sure that she'd push him away. _She'll probably stake you here and now,_ he thought to himself. But to his surprise she didn't, instead she sagged against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing violently into his coat. After what felt like an eternity she pulled away and although her face was damp and her eyes red, she looked a little better. 'I just don't think I could handle it if she...' Her voice trailed off and the word hung there unsaid.

'My mother was sick too' He turned away, back to the yard. 'She had tuberculosis.' He took a deep breath before he continued. Even after all of these years, it was still hard to talk about his mother. 'I thought I'd never be able to carry on if she left me. But somehow... somehow I just managed.' He'd meant for it to sound comforting, but it had just sounded awkward. He fiddled with the gun by his side, not really wanting to remember what had happened. What he had done.

'Not exactly the poster boy of mental health, Spike' Buffy's voice sounded stronger now more normal. And he looked at her again and smiled, just slightly. 'Point is' He began, sitting up straighter 'If it happens, you'll find a way. You always do' This time she smiled at him, weakly, but Spike could feel the warmth in it.

They sat in silence again for a very long time. So long that the sky was starting to turn navy, signalling dawn's approach. Spike touched her shoulder 'She'll be okay you know... your mom, she's a fighter' He rose slowly and glanced back at her as he walked down the porch steps into the yard. She looked better now, more stable somehow. 'She'll be okay.' She smiled up at him and wiped the last of her tears away, before he turned and stalked out of the yard. As he was leaving he heard her thank him quietly as he disappeared into the shadows.


End file.
